I just relapsed and it was the scariest thing ever

I had an argument with my parents during lunch and I didn't even finish my food, I just got up and left to the shower, I relapsed there, and suddenly I felt so lightheaded, I felt so nauseated, I fell to the floor but I couldn't even call to anyone because I was literally bleeding, my tools were there.

I feel physically okay now but I hate myself for relapsing, and I don't even wanna imagine what would have happened if I called someone.